My name is Zachary Virden and I am a 36-year-old college student at Winona State University. I was reading an article by Nancy Shute on NPR in October of 2013 and found some distressing facts that she wrote about:
A multiple-choice online survey conducted in 2010 and 2011 asked 1,058 teenagers and young adults, ages 14 to 21, whether they'd ever "kissed, touched, or done anything sexual with another person when that person did not want you to?" Nine percent said yes. Eight percent had kissed or touched someone when they knew the other person did not want to. Three percent got someone to give in to unwilling sex. Three percent attempted to rape the person, and 2 percent completed a rape. (The numbers don't add up correctly because some perpetrators admitted to more than one behavior.)
This was one of the first surveys to ask questions of this nature, and the researchers caution that because of the relatively small number of youths involved, the results aren't definitive.
When asked who was to blame, half of the perpetrators said the victim was completely responsible; one-third said it was their own fault.
A multiple-choice online survey conducted in 2010 and 2011 asked 1,058 teenagers and young adults, ages 14 to 21, whether they'd ever "kissed, touched, or done anything sexual with another person when that person did not want you to?" Nine percent said yes. Eight percent had kissed or touched someone when they knew the other person did not want to. Three percent got someone to give in to unwilling sex. Three percent attempted to rape the person, and 2 percent completed a rape. (The numbers don't add up correctly because some perpetrators admitted to more than one behavior.)
This was one of the first surveys to ask questions of this nature, and the researchers caution that because of the relatively small number of youths involved, the results aren't definitive.
When asked who was to blame, half of the perpetrators said the victim was completely responsible; one-third said it was their own fault.
Shute also mentioned a recent multi-year study funded by the CDC entitled Growing Up With Media. So I checked it out and found that the researchers found that almost 1 in 10 young adults (age 16-23) have forced someone into sexual activity against their will. Even more disturbing is that the study found that the majority of those who have done it think that the victim is at least partly to blame.
The study found that sixteen seems to be the age when sexual coercion becomes a real possibility for boys and that nearly half of the study participants said they first forced someone to have sexual activity when they were 16.
The more little known result had to do with young women. The study found that by age 18, girls had become much more involved in preying on others, to the point where they were almost as likely to be the perpetrators as were boys.
This was all new for me. I was raised to always respect women and that no means no, no matter what. I have been aware of others attitudes and found them disturbing but this new information seemed to me to be the making of an epidemic.
I was asked to do a project for a class in college so I, along with my classmate Chase Peyton, decided on this website. Young adults and parents need to know that this is going on and need to know how to fight it. I do not want to live in a world where it is all right to force, guilt trip, or use psychological pressure to get sex from people.
Through the use of Interpersonal Communication Skills parents can learn easy ways to communicate with their children. These skills are also good for individuals to know if ever anyone tries to sexually coerce them.
In order to get a better understanding of how young people view and understand sexual coercion we conducted a series of short interviews with some students at our school. After providing them with the Basics of sexual coercion we asked them each to provide a fake name to protect their privacy and then asked them the following questions:
Some of the answers we received were a bit typical but some were not. We interviewed 13 women and 13 men ages 19-23.
Of the people we interviewed, 4 women and 2 men admitted to having sex with someone while intoxicated that they would not have otherwise slept with. As to being pressured under alcohol, 6 women and 8 men admitted to having been pressured. 5 women and 4 men admitted to having someone try one of the lines on them. The most common line used on men was "Its okay, everyone is doing it" and for women the lines used included all of them.
For the most part, both men and women thought that men coerced their partners more, however one woman and three men thought women were more coercive and one woman and three men thought it was about even.
The final question made many of the participants uncomfortable so the results should be taken with a grain of salt. Of the 13 women interviewed 4 admitted to having been sexually coerced and one admitted to being both coerced and to having coerced someone else. Of the 13 men, 3 admitted to being coerced and 3 more admitted to being coerced and coercing someone else.
On the whole, the results are simple, however the numbers here don't match up. More admitted to being pressured under the influence of alcohol than having been coerced even though, by definition, sexual coercion includes pressure to commit sexual acts while intoxicated.
Some of the responses we received caught us off guard. (all names are fake, but the people were real)
Amanda told us, "in most cases, I feel like men are more likely to coerce their partners for sex, but I also think that women can do the same thing without the stigma."
After telling us which lines had been used on her Natalie told us that when someone used one of them on her she "felt disrespected."
Sally admitted to having slept with someone while drunk that she would not have slept with sober and admitted he used one of the lines on her, she told us "I felt pressured and didn't think I really had a choice in it."
Clark said men coerce their partner for sex more but qualified it by saying "it's not as predominant as many people think."
We found all these responses to be enlightening. They show that some people are beginning to realize that sexual coercion is a problem. We agree and hope that as you explore our website you will find some information that will help you avoid being sexually coerced or help your children avoid it.
The study found that sixteen seems to be the age when sexual coercion becomes a real possibility for boys and that nearly half of the study participants said they first forced someone to have sexual activity when they were 16.
The more little known result had to do with young women. The study found that by age 18, girls had become much more involved in preying on others, to the point where they were almost as likely to be the perpetrators as were boys.
This was all new for me. I was raised to always respect women and that no means no, no matter what. I have been aware of others attitudes and found them disturbing but this new information seemed to me to be the making of an epidemic.
I was asked to do a project for a class in college so I, along with my classmate Chase Peyton, decided on this website. Young adults and parents need to know that this is going on and need to know how to fight it. I do not want to live in a world where it is all right to force, guilt trip, or use psychological pressure to get sex from people.
Through the use of Interpersonal Communication Skills parents can learn easy ways to communicate with their children. These skills are also good for individuals to know if ever anyone tries to sexually coerce them.
In order to get a better understanding of how young people view and understand sexual coercion we conducted a series of short interviews with some students at our school. After providing them with the Basics of sexual coercion we asked them each to provide a fake name to protect their privacy and then asked them the following questions:
- Age?
- Have you ever had sex with someone while drunk who you would not have if you were sober?
- Have you ever been sexually pressured under the influence of alcohol?
- Has anyone ever said any of these to you? If so how did it make you feel?
“Its okay, everyone is doing it.”
“If you really loved me you would sleep with me.”
“If you don’t have sex with me I’ll break up with you.”
“Why wont you have sex with me, am I not good enough for you?”
“ We had sex before, why can’t we do it again?” - Who do you think coerces their partner for sex more? Men or women?
- Have you ever been sexually coerced, or have you ever sexually coerced somebody else?
Some of the answers we received were a bit typical but some were not. We interviewed 13 women and 13 men ages 19-23.
Of the people we interviewed, 4 women and 2 men admitted to having sex with someone while intoxicated that they would not have otherwise slept with. As to being pressured under alcohol, 6 women and 8 men admitted to having been pressured. 5 women and 4 men admitted to having someone try one of the lines on them. The most common line used on men was "Its okay, everyone is doing it" and for women the lines used included all of them.
For the most part, both men and women thought that men coerced their partners more, however one woman and three men thought women were more coercive and one woman and three men thought it was about even.
The final question made many of the participants uncomfortable so the results should be taken with a grain of salt. Of the 13 women interviewed 4 admitted to having been sexually coerced and one admitted to being both coerced and to having coerced someone else. Of the 13 men, 3 admitted to being coerced and 3 more admitted to being coerced and coercing someone else.
On the whole, the results are simple, however the numbers here don't match up. More admitted to being pressured under the influence of alcohol than having been coerced even though, by definition, sexual coercion includes pressure to commit sexual acts while intoxicated.
Some of the responses we received caught us off guard. (all names are fake, but the people were real)
Amanda told us, "in most cases, I feel like men are more likely to coerce their partners for sex, but I also think that women can do the same thing without the stigma."
After telling us which lines had been used on her Natalie told us that when someone used one of them on her she "felt disrespected."
Sally admitted to having slept with someone while drunk that she would not have slept with sober and admitted he used one of the lines on her, she told us "I felt pressured and didn't think I really had a choice in it."
Clark said men coerce their partner for sex more but qualified it by saying "it's not as predominant as many people think."
We found all these responses to be enlightening. They show that some people are beginning to realize that sexual coercion is a problem. We agree and hope that as you explore our website you will find some information that will help you avoid being sexually coerced or help your children avoid it.